The Last Turkey
The year was 2011, and as I had done every year since moving to Texas (well, every year except for those that I had to work), I was preparing Thanksgiving dinner for our family. The family consisted of... my husband, two daughters and their husbands and three grandchildren. Oh... and how could I forget Lucy? You know, the mannequin! Lucy was a bit befuddled as she saw me running around early in the day setting the table, chopping the veggies, and doing the last minute preparations for "the big dinner"!
But this year... I was going to have some fun of my own with the turkey. I always thought it a bit gross reaching into that bird and pulling out the neck and giblets before stuffing it and putting it in the oven, so why not fix the turkey... with a twist! I was alone in the kitchen, the radio was on and of course there was last minute talk of how to cook a turkey, what to do if your turkey isn't thawed (my answer to that is to eat out!), and what to do with Uncle Albert when he starts his political rant.
I took a lemon and cut it in half, and then, carefully slid it under the skin of the turkey breast... one on each side. Yeah! You get the idea! I really wasn't sure this would work, but what the heck, it was worth a try. I stuffed the bird, set "her" on a bed of carrots, celery and onions, slathered "her" with melted butter and sprinkled "her" with herbs and a bit of salt. I tucked "her" in the oven to roast until golden brown and that little plastic thingy popped out indicating she was done... and that's when the fun was to begin!
Now seriously, how difficult is it to roast a turkey?
Everyone was seated at the table when I brought the roasted turkey in on a silver platter garnished with grapes and rosemary. You should have heard the screech of laughter when they saw "the bird"! You see, this was no ordinary bird! This one had BOOBS! BIG BOOBS!
Lots of laughter all around and that's when my daughter, Missy, pulled out her cell phone and got this photo.
Yes... I have gone zonkers in my old age! Just like to laugh and have fun!
The following years my daughter Molly has graciously hosted Thanksgiving dinner at her house. Actually, it is much easier to have it there as her house is more spacious than mine and the kids have a huge playroom to keep them occupied. But... I secretly wonder if she feared that I might be playful again in the kitchen! After all, I did entertain thoughts of preparing a "Tom Turkey" using a carrot and a couple small potatoes! Hahahahaha!!!
But alas... I have become vegetarian, so there will be no turkey coming out of my kitchen as I would so much rather see them alive than to suffer the assault of the slaughter house. Not sure why it took me so many years to have a conscience about what I eat. I suppose it is because I grew up eating meat and never gave a thought to what happens to these poor animals before they end up on our table. As for me, I will fill up on the appetizers, sides and dessert! After all... they really are the best part of Thanksgiving dinner.
I do love Thanksgiving simply because it is family time and no gifts involved. It's a time to sit together, share funny stories, remember the ones who are no longer at the table and to share good food and be thankful for all the good things in our life.
I wish you all a very happy Thanksgiving and I am posting this a bit early just in case you too might like to play in the kitchen!
Keywords: Lucy the mannequin, Thanksgiving, boobs, family, fun in the kitchen, slaughter house, turkey, vegetarian
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